Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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eloise dey.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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kiss me?

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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