Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

I like hats XD!

Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

What did the man with cancer do? Die

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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