What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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Barack Obama

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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dead battery come on down

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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