Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Proof reading

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops