What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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