What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Your mother is a man.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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Yo daddy!

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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