Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

yfygcugyuyc

What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

69

What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

You smell like shit

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

women outside of the kitchen

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

wnba

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

A pedophile walks into a daycare

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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