Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Knock Knock.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Watch your lips.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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