I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Farts smell bad!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Matt is not funny.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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