Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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Hippopatomous!

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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osama bin ladens hiding spot

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Spread the net.

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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