A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Girls

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Hi my name is Jim

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops