Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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I saw a shovel once.

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hello

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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God bless America, and no where else.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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NASCAR

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Good boy

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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zebras

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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