- Anti Joke

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^44jffdGHFYI

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^44jffdGHFYI

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^44jffdGHFYI