Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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My mom just died....

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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