Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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Don't think of granny porn

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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Google Doodles

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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