A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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