Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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2

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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planking.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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