why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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