Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops