Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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