- Anti Joke

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

Hands women baby Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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