Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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