If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Women's sports.

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

What is 69? A two digit number.

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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