- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

the your face joke

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

what is brown and sticky? a stick

A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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