A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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i like potatoes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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