A man walks into a bar.

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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69

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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