Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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dead babies

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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