What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops