Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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