What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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