I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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what color is blue? green

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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69

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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NEVER

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BIG PENIS

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Cracked.com the only (depressive) "humor" site.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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