What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Men's rights

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops