(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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woman's rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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