why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops