Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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eoin burgin is fat

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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