An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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