How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Kys

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Nickelback

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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