Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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24

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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I literally died laughing

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops