What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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