What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

9/11

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

a black guy with rights in 1924

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

Netball.

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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