Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops