Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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