Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

one morning i turned on my tv

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops