Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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