how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Guess what? SHADAP

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Winking at old people

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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