how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Yo Mamma

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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thumbs up!

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Obama

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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