i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Rick Perry.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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