Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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The AIDS patient was gay

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Rick Perry.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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