A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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