Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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