A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Poker face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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You sick fiend

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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